Military stories from past to present, both wars.

“Check Please”

September 15th, 2006 Posted in The SandGram v1.0

Now picture this, in a Japanese restaurant on Okinawa that is the size of a Burger King. Mind you, this is a really large place to their standards considering how expensive real-estate is there to begin with. My buddy, we’ll call him “Kinsu” because he is taking Japanese and actually doing very well at it is sitting to my right. On my left is a local girl that we hang out with named Akiko. After a great meal of Sushi, followed by a couple of beers, “Kinsu” leans back and tries to make some small talk with Akiko on his observations of the Japanese language. I have to admit that the big hulking “Gaijin” or Foreigner as they call us is doing pretty well at a very difficult language.

“Kinsu” looks at the waiter across the room and in his deep American Marine voice yells over the din of noise as he waves his hand to get his attention and says something like “SemiSan, SemiSan, ConJo O Kudasi,” but the reaction he received was not what they told him it would be in Japanese One Oh Two. Every head in the place is now looking at us, chop sticks frozen in mid-stride, all conversation ceases. I calmly lean over to whisper, “Hey there Kinsu, what the hell did you just say???”
“Kinsu’s” face is flaming red, Akiko has her face covered with both hands, and is slumped down in her chair. He snarls under his breath in a low hiss, “I said, excuse me, excuse me, I’d like my check please.”

Akiko, slumped down whispers, “No, Kinsu, that is not what you ask. What you say was not polite.” I’d have to agree judging from the stares we were receiving. It was like that old broker commercial where the guy says, “My broker is EF Hutton and he says…” and the whole place freezes, which is just what this situation is like.
The waiter who we find out is actually the owner, comes over and says, “Please, in future do this for check, (drawing out on his hand) and I bring check.” We buy Akiko lunch and walk out to the van down the street. “Kinsu” is still reeling from his failure at asking for the check. He is bugging Akiko to tell him what he said to the owner of the newest blacklisted to all Gaijin because of him, restaurant. Finally, she looks up with this serious face and says, “What you say, not polite.”
He replies “Yeah, yeah, I got that already, I asked for the check right???”

Shaking her head back and forth she says “No, Kinsu, what you said across the restaurant was EXCUSE ME, EXCUSE ME, WOULD YOU PLEASE STICK YOUR THUMB UP MY A** and in Japanese that is not polite.” She continues “to ask for the check is OOHHH ConJOO, O Kudasi.”

“Kinsu” just shakes his head as we get into the van, “Happy to Glad, I’m sorry but your language sucks!!!”
Now you know how he got the nickname Kinsu…

Hey Gang, by the way, I have a buddy who is now over in Iraq for his third tour and here is his link on, if you look him up, please adopt him and his Marines for the rest of the year. He isn’t located on a base so there is no PX to get stuff from. Lets just say that they are West of everywhere in the desert and this is like being in the wild wild west!!! Thanks a ton for helping him out. Trust me when I tell you he can write VERY well and you would like to be on his email list. His name is LtCol Tom V

Semper Fi as always,