History Lesson 101

June 1st, 2008 Posted in The SandGram v1.0 | 9 Comments »

This came from our XO, a fine young Air Force Officer who gave us a short brief on the Hazara. If you have read “Kite Runner” then you already have an idea of who the Hazara are and how they are treated. Here is a little background on them. This whole country is based off of tribes and clans, which makes putting them all together very difficult. We had a group of Police Recruits get into a fight last week because one group was Pashtu and the other Dari. They took to each other with metal pipes and caused some injuries but no deaths. See, there is the problem, they hate each other and it could be something that dates back to a bad business deal a century ago.  Almost like the Hatfield and McCoys. Anyway, enjoy your first History lesson.

The Hazara are historically know as the descendants of Genghis Khan (GK).  However, it is believed but not proven, that the Hazara were settled before GK invaded.  The Hazara were not a “warrior” people so when GK invaded their land, although they resisted, they were easily defeated and it was then that the mix between the Mongol and the Hazara began.

They are primarily located in Central Afghanistan and their field of work has historically been “highland farmers.”  They farm at over 10K feet above sea level.  The Hazara are the third largest ethnic group in Afghanistan…only Pashtun and Tajik have larger groups.  They are mortal enemies with the Pashtun.  This stems from years of oppression forced upon them by the Pashtun.  The Pashtun forced them to live as 2nd class citizens (only good for cleaning homes and baking bread). 

In the 18th Century, the huge Pashtun push from the south forced many Hazara to the north and out of the Helmand and Kandahar regions.  This is when they fled into the mountains of Central Afghanistan.  The Pashtun continued the persecution of the Hazara and to this day, the largest settlement of Hazara can be found in the Quetta region in Pakistan (south west).

In the modern era, the struggles of the Hazara continue but with the coalition military influence, they are beginning to make head way into being seen as equals.  Although the internal negative feelings of the Pashtun tribes exists, in order to make peace with the Allied forces, the Pashtuns must bury their feelings in public and symbolically accept the Hazara.  The Hazara are utilizing this time of “being seen as equals” to put their children through school and also to get women involved in the work place and also the government.  In one province, there is a female Governor…a Hazara woman.

The Taliban were also mentioned today and it was said that if the Taliban were allowed to continue their reign, the Hazara would be and extinct people.   

Although it sounds as if the Hazara are utilizing this education for the good, popular belief is that there is still a bone deep resentment ingrained towards the Pashtun.  The fluidity of this culture is amazing and seems like an incredibly tough up-hill struggle to refocus priorities of a people who’s history is nothing but war and misplacement.

MEMORIAL DAY 25 MAY 2008 FALLUJAH

May 26th, 2008 Posted in The SandGram v1.0 | 6 Comments »
Major General Kelly’s remarks on this day.
MEMORIAL DAY 25 MAY 2008
FALLUJAH, IRAQ
First, a few statistics to ponder.  There are twenty-five million living American veterans.  Since General George Washington commanded the Continental Army forty-two million Americans have served the colors.  A million have been killed in its defense.  Another million and a half wounded.  When most of us think about military cemeteries the first thought that comes to mind is Arlington National in Washington, but there are many, many more in the U.S.  Most Americans also don’t know there are 24 American cemeteries maintained overseas with 125,000 graves of our fallen—61,000 in France alone—the result of two wars that saved Europe and the world from horrors unimaginable to Americans today; unimaginable, that is, unless you are a veteran who have seen the terrible face of war so those who remained safe in America, and those yet unborn, would never have to.  There are also memorials overseas to an additional 94,000 Americans who were lost at sea, or their remains never recovered from battlefields around the globe.  With all this service and loss, we as Americans can be proud of the kind of people we are as we have never retained a square foot of any country we have defeated, we possess no empire, nor have we enslaved a single human being.  On the contrary, billions across the planet are today—and billions yet unborn—live free because our veterans have fought and died, and, once peace achieved, we’ve rebuilt destroyed cities, economies, and societies.   
Memorial Day was established three years after our terrible Civil War that finally established what kind of nation we would be.  A war in which 600,000 young Americans—North and South—perished.  For a century the day continued to mean visiting and decorating graves or town-square memorials to those who died serving our great nation, and celebrating with parades and civic events.  Americans kept the day quiet pausing to remember, at least for a little while, the kind of men and women they were who gave the last full measure, and the immensity of the sacrifice they made for those who remained protected at home. 
Americans should not forget this weekend or any weekend as they relax with a few days off that the country is at war, and a new Greatest Generation is fighting a merciless enemy on their behalf in the terrible heat of Iraq, and in the mountains of Afghanistan.  Like it or not America is engaged in a war today against an enemy that is savage, offers no quarter, whose only objectives are to either kill every one of our families in our homeland, or enslave us with a sick form of extremism that serves no God or purpose that rational men and women can understand.  Given the opportunity to do another 9/11, our vicious enemy would do it today, tomorrow and everyday thereafter.  I don’t know why they hate us, and I frankly don’t care and they can all go to hell, but they do hate us and are driven irrationally to our destruction.  The best way to fight them is somewhere else and that is why we are here.  For whatever reason they want to destroy our way of life our countrymen at home should be on their knees everyday thanking God we still have enough young people in America today willing to take up the fight as our Veterans did from the earliest days of our nation.    
They should know that they are protected today by men and women as good as have ever served; as good today as their fathers were in Vietnam, and their grandfathers were in Korea and World War II.  In this my third tour in Iraq I have never seen an American hesitate, or do anything other than lean into the danger and, with no apparent fear of death or injury, take the fight to the enemies of our way of life.  As anyone who has ever experienced combat knows, and many of you do, when it starts, when the explosions and tracers are everywhere and the calls for the Corpsman or medic are screamed from the throats of men who know they are dying—when seconds seem like hours and it all becomes slow motion and fast forward at the same time—everything in one’s survival instinct says stop, get down, save yourself —yet you don’t.  When no one would call you coward for cowering behind a wall or in a hole looking to your own self preservation, none of you do.  It doesn’t matter if it’s an IED, a suicide bomber, mortar attack, fighting in the upstairs room of a house, or all of it at once—America should know you fight today in the same way our warriors have since the Revolution.
The wonderful thing about America’s Armed Forces is that none of us are born killers.  On the contrary we are good and decent Americans mostly from the neighborhoods of America’s cities, and small towns.  Almost all come from “salt of the earth” working class homes, and more often than not are the sons and daughters of cops and firemen, factory and service workers, and farmers.  Most of us delivered papers, stocked shelves in the grocery store, played Little League baseball and pickup hockey in the local rink, and served Mass on Sunday morning.  Some are former athletes, and many “couch potatoes” who drove our cars and motorcycles too fast, and blasted our music louder than perhaps we should have.  We are all ordinary people performing remarkable acts of bravery and selfless acts of devotion to a cause bigger than ourselves—and for millions who will never know our names.  Any one of us could have all stayed in school or gone another way, but yet we chose to serve knowing full well Iraq and Afghanistan was in our future.  You did not avoid the most basic and cherished responsibility of a citizen—to defend the nation and its people—on the contrary, you went after it.  You did not fail in life which the chattering class back home likes to believe is why you chose to serve and risk dying for the nation, but, rather, are the best our nation produces and have consciously put every American at home above your own self interest.  You are all heroes and like many Veterans throughout our history many of us have endured things—sights, sounds and horrors—that will haunt us for the rest of our lives.  I know I find comfort that because I am here those I love and have sworn to protect will never have to deal with memories so terrible.  I hope you who have seen these things have the same sense of purpose and balance when you relive the scenes of violence, and of decisions made.
America’s Armed Forces today know the price of being the finest men and women this nation has to offer, and pay it we do everyday in Iraq and Afghanistan.  More than four thousand of us have died in this war, and ten-times this number have been wounded.  And the sacrifice continues as three Americans have gone to God since we all went to bed last night and slept free and protected.  Their mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters, wives, husbands, and fiancés are sitting in their living rooms right now with casualty officers learning the true price of freedom, and are only just beginning a lifelong struggle of dealing with the pain and loss of someone so dear, but they are not victims as they knew what they were about and were doing what they wanted to do.  Many of today’s self-proclaimed experts and media commentators endeavor to make them out to be victims but they are wrong, and this only detracts from the decision these patriots made to step forward and protect the country that has given so much to all of us.    We who are serving, and have served, demand not to be categorized as victims—we are not.  Those with less of a sense of service to the nation never understand it when strong and committed men and women stand tall and firm against our enemies, just as they can’t begin to understand the price paid so they and their families can sleep safe and free at night—the protected never do. What the experts, commentators, and elites are missing, what they will also never understand, is the sense of commitment, joy, and honor, of serving the nation in its uniform, but every American Veteran, and their loved ones who support them and fear for them everyday, do understand. 
We should all be confident that this experiment in democracy we call America will forever remain the “land of the free and home of the brave” so long as we never run out of tough young Americans willing to look beyond their own self interest and comfortable lives, and go into the darkest and most dangerous places on earth to hunt down, and kill, those who would do us  harm.
In closing I wanted to share a story that you may not be aware of that took place only a few miles from here in Ramadi.  On 22 April 2nd Battalion 8th Marines and 1st Battalion, 9th Marines were in the process of turning over a Joint Security Station Nasser.  It’s in the Sophia district of Ramadi, and was once the center of the insurgency in that city.  Two Marines who barely knew each other as one was coming and the other going were standing guard at the Entry Control Point (ECP): their names were Jonathan Yale and Jordan Haerter.  At 0745, and without warning, a large truck accelerated towards the ECP careening off the protective serpentine.  Both must have understood on instinct what was happening as in less then a second they went to the guns and opened fire until the massive 2,000lb blast took their lives—but the suicide bomber never passed the post they protected, and 50 other Marines and perhaps as many police didn’t die that day inside the JSS.  I spoke to several Iraqi police eyewitness and they all told the same story, but one more emotionally than the others.  He said no sane man would have stood there directly in the path of a speeding truck firing their weapons—yet two did.  His officers, some as close as ten feet initially from the Marines, fired and ran when it was obvious the truck could not be stopped—and they survived.  The Marines stood their ground and stopped the truck before it detonated, and saved the lives of their buddies.
          A sacred duty of every commander in combat, yet the one we dread the most, is writing letters home to families who have lost a son or a daughter.  I wanted to close by reading you a letter I wrote that night to the mother of one of those two heroes that for me sums up who and what we are as warriors and veterans, why we serve, and how we will remember each other.
  
 
22 April 2008
 
 
            I know there is nothing I can write tonight that will help you deal with the loss of your son Jonathan.  I do hope you can find some comfort as I try to help you understand what he was doing for every American when he was taken from us all.  He was standing watch on a nameless side street in Ramadi at the entrance of a compound that housed a large number of Marines, Iraqi Police, and civilians.  In the early morning a truck turned down towards the entrance and ignored the visual warnings he gave to stop.  Jonathan and the Marine he was with must have sensed immediately what was taking place as they went to the guns quickly and fired a very high volume of automatic weapons fire undoubtedly killing the suicide driver, but not before he detonated the massive blast that took their lives.  His fellow Marines did what Marines have done from the beginning of our history, something they do almost without thinking and always without hesitation—they risked their own lives to save his, but he was already gone to God.  Mrs. Pride because of your son and that other Marine nearly fifty other American families are not mourning tonight; their son’s lives were saved by two Marines who would not abandon their post even to the point of death. 
 
            I did not know your son Mrs. Pride, but I am sure he was just like every Marine I have known in the three decades and more that I have served.  Like my own two sons who are Marines and have served here in this war, I bet he was a good looking young man, fun loving, into sports and a good son—but not perfect—boys never are.  He was also different Mrs. Pride, because he chose to leave the comfortable and safe confines of his home and walk a different path than all the rest.  The path he chose led him to be one of the nations finest, to be a Marine.  When he did not have to raise his right hand and swear before his God to serve and protect this nation and its people, he did just that.  We all owe him an eternal debt of gratitude that can never be repaid.  We also owe you, Tammy, and all who loved him a debt—one that can never be settled.
 
            I have 25,000 Marines under my care here in Iraq, and I fear for their lives every minute of every day as if they were my own.  They are out there everyday and every night patrolling the most dangerous places on earth for millions of people at home they do not even know.  In times of weakness I wonder why they come, young men like Jonathan, why they come when no one makes them.  When everything in our society seems to say “what’s in it for me,” those like your son think of others—not themselves.  I did not know your son Mrs. Pride, but I will never forget him.  I will keep him in my thoughts and prayers for the rest of my life.
 
With deepest sympathy,
 
 
 
JOHN F. KELLY
Major General, U.S. Marine Corps
Commanding General
I Marine Expeditionary Force (Forward)
 
 

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Hug a Vet

May 24th, 2008 Posted in The SandGram v1.0 | 7 Comments »

Dear Gang,

Here I am at “Camp Adams” on Memorial Day Weekend; let’s see “Cut the grass, Wash the Humvee, Clean the poop stains, change the sheets, and clean the gutters.” See, the “Honey Do This and That” never end, ever. Even when you are in a battle zone!

Actually, this is a pretty important holiday for me because I was commissioned this timeframe twenty years ago as a second Lieutenant. When I got home from college and things had settled down, there came a knock on our front door. When I answered, there stood James A. Michener from our church. He was gruff, stocky, bulldog type guy who used to yell at me for running down the hallway at church. I know what you are thinking, “is this the same guy who wrote all the books?” the answer is “no,” they are from a town apart and the author was adopted by the Michener family. But it gets better later.

Mr. Michener came in with a large box in tow. “Taco,” he grabbed my hand in a bear claw vice, “I’m proud as hell of you for joining the Marines,” and patting the box, he said, “Now that you are a Marine, I guess I need to pass this on from one Marine to another.” Now, I had no idea he was in the Marines, but then it all made sense, his bearing, demeanor, it all said “Marine.” I was at a loss and just mumbled, “Wow, I thought you were a retired school teacher. I didn’t know you were in the Marines.”

He opened the box and started to pull out all these treasures that belong in a military museum. They included his WWII web gear, and all his memorabilia. In February, I wrote about Iwo Jima, and talked about Col. Michener. By giving me his gear, he was passing the torch to the next generation of Marines. I was so proud to receive it, and I honor his memory. Honoring those who have set the example is the backbone of the Corps today.

It started for him in December 1941, just a few days before the bombing of Pearl Harbor, when he shipped up to Philadelphia Naval yard to attend TBS. At that time, all Marine Officers went through training there. He had a great memory and could recall all the dates and names of the guys he served with as if it had just happened. We talked about his time on Iwo Jima and how his Colt .45 had taken the lives of over a dozen men during the course of the war, from spider holes to bonsai attacks. He wept for the loss of his friends, but swelled with pride over the accomplishments his units achieved.

As he spoke, two hours went by, and a sparkle of mischief was in his eyes as he talked about the author Michener. I guess after the war ended, his division, what was left of it, steamed to Hawaii for some R and R. Mr. Michener took his men out for a well-deserved night on the town. They drank a bit too much and it’s no surprise that alcohol and Marines did not mix well with Army guys around. Some words were exchanged, and pretty soon there was a giant brawl in the bar. When the MP’s showed up, the owner, rightfully pissed off, wanted them all arrested. Mr. Michener whipped out his ID and showed it to the owner, “Do you know who I am?” I guess Michener the author was out in the Pacific in the Navy, but that didn’t stop the future Col. Michener. “I’m James A. Michener, the writer. Just send the bill to my address and I’ll pay for all the damages.” The owner was pretty happy with this and agreed not to press charges. Of course Michener gave the address of the writer from the next town over. He just thought that was a hoot.

Then come to find out a few years later, James A. Michener, the writer, and his wife landed in Hawaii to take a vacation. After they were led down the line of hula girls, there were a couple of Hawaii “5-0” officers there to arrest him on the charges of destroying a bar. He pleaded that it wasn’t him, and when the bar owner arrived he confirmed that this tall, lanky guy wasn’t the short, stocky Marine that trashed his place. Michener loved that story. “Didn’t you feel bad, Mr. Michener? He smiled, “Hell no, he was Navy anyway, and was rich off that book he wrote before the war. I figured he could afford it.”

Well, I know lots of guys like my Mr. Michener, my grandfather, my uncle and most of all, my father, who have worn the uniform of the United States Military, and it makes me proud to carry on the tradition. To all of you out there who have served, or are serving, give yourself a big pat on the back as you read this. This weekend is for you. I hope that you don’t have to cut the grass in your battle rattle, so have a beer for us over here.

Semper Fi,

Taco

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Everyone Poops, so have a nice Bidet

May 18th, 2008 Posted in The SandGram v1.0 | 31 Comments »

The Thinking hat, \"I think I need to poop\"

The ledge

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Dear Gang,

You know there are some basic human needs that have to be fulfilled no matter where you are. I guess as you travel the world, figuring out where you go to fertilize the local gardens is something that everyone has to do. Like my daughters book “Everyone Poops” this is one of those things that fascinates me to no end. I guess because you have all extremes over here from a porta potty which everyone knows how to use, to the modified comfort trailers (fairly normal), followed by the Afghani bathroom. Now they are broken up into two types, the ole hole in the ground or if you are lucky, you get the two imprinted foot spots or my favorite, the “ledge” toilet.

I’m convinced though that whoever came up with the toilet system here also owns stock or their brother owns the local toilet brush company. They build these things with a ledge directly below where your bottom sits and when you flush, water comes rushing down, moving your pile across the ledge and into the abyss. Sometimes this takes two flushes, depending on if you ate the local vegetables or not. I guess they want a really good look at what they had for breakfast that day. This process is ALWAYS messy and requires the use of a brush to scrub away the streaks. Of course this isn’t something that is around when you need it, so you have to buy one. I’m sure the last guy threw his away (I would) and figured you would want a brush of your very own. So Ackmed and Mohammod, I know you two are making a fortune off these brushes and toilets.

Now my house (older place) on 1995 JaOki Street here at Camp Adams has a bidet and a toilet. “How does one use this?” yes, I sometimes think and ponder as I’m sitting, so when I was done, I called my interpreter named Jim into the bathroom “Jim, tell me about this, how does one use this bidet? I mean, do you sort of shuffle over and then wash?” He smiled and replied in his heavy accent “Muslims must pray five times a day and be clean, so they don’t have time for a shower, thus, they wash their bottoms here.” He smiled and followed that with “Sometimes their feet too.”

Well, at least their toilets don’t have the robotic arm that comes out from inside the seat and sears your orifice with 120 degree water enema like the Japanese one I encountered and caused me not to sit right for a week. Or the slit trench in China that my buddy was huddled over one dark November night and nearly fell in after a Pig in the bottom of this pit put his head up under his rear and licked the crack of his Arse. That incident soon became the motto for where ever we were at the time… “I’d rather let a pig lick the crack of my back, then be here…” Says a lot when you think about it.

Well, I hope that this didn’t ruin your chow this morning. You all have a super day and remember “to wipe twice because there are germs you can’t even pronounce about to launch a devastating attack on your body that would render you useless in a time of war.” The Great Santini

Semper Fi,

Taco

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Happy Mothers day from OEF

May 14th, 2008 Posted in The SandGram v1.0 | 10 Comments »

Dear Gang,

Greeting from, Afghanistan. First of all I want to say Happy Mother’s Day to all you gals out there in Cyberland!! I can say that this is going to be a long tour. We travel around Kandahar City, which can be a bit nerve racking, as we have to meet with locals in different spots. Crazy stuff. I am learning Dari, the main language of the folks in power. There are a ton of dialects and folks from the North don’t understand the guys in the South. The same applies for each region–East and West. I just learned that I will work at another base close to here which is nice since all of my Afghan contacts are located there along with my translator who will begin my Dari lessons. I enjoy doing magic tricks for the kids on our compound, and it shows my feeble attempt at making friends with the locals. Actually the kids and adults love that stuff.

All the Afghan’s that I have come in contact with are super nice and love to smile. You greet them with your right hand over your heart and say ‘Salaam Mailickem’ and they will do the same. Like people all around the world, they just want to provide food for their families and have some sort of home.

I have to say that this place reminds me of Mexico in a way with the crazy drivers except you don’t see this everyday in Mexico–a flock of sheep going down the main street with cars whizzing around them at hyper speeds as the father and son try not to get them killed (now I know where our mystery meat comes from.) The women for the most part walk around in beautiful blue burkas, but the children don’t wear them from what I have seen. Sometimes I’ll be waiting for my ride to pick me up, and the children from the school two miles down will come over to say hello. I carry extra pens for them, but I make sure it’s a small group. If you give one Afghani something, they will all start to line up for a present.

They have a Bazaar on one of the local bases on Tuesdays, and after the vendors have cleared security, they set up shop. I was walking through with a couple of other officers looking at the nice stuff they had out. They do a fine job on silver jewelry, beautiful wooden boxes, scarves, etc. I walked up to one gent named Khullin and asked about the price of one set of jewelry, he said ”85 dollars” and I knew that was his opening salvo, they love to bargain with you and haggle till each of you are happy. If they give you a present, then it means he took you and felt guilty.

Next, I looked at some old Russian coins he had on the table. I held one up and asked, ‘how much?’ He says, ‘Oh for you my friend,$1.00.’ I turned to him and made the coin vanish with a little slight of hand, then pulled it out of his ear. He about flipped. Very excited, he called all of his fellow vendors over to our table. I repeated the trick and did a few more. Then I reached in my pocket and produced some key chains from my base back home in Texas. Handing one to Kullim, I found I had four more hands out. Luckily I had enough. I put my hand over my heart, bowed and thanked them. Well not to be out done, Khullin says, ‘Please stay here,’ and picked up a wad of Afghani money from the table and peeled off about ten bills. Nice crisp new bills. He handed them to me and bowed. Then the other vendors not to be out done by Khullin they all produced money and handed it to me.

My buddies were watching in amazement as I was being bestowed all this money. Khullin then took me back to the table and put his arm around me. ‘Mr. Marine, for you my friend, I sell this set for $15 dollars.’ That was a big drop from $85, so I said ‘How about two more, so three total. He leaned into me and said, “This is my cost, so $45 dollars for all three.”

I walked away with a ton of Afghan money and a great buy waving to my friends “Great, see you next Tuesday” . Those little key chains were gold. I learned a neat lesson, give something and you will receive it back twice fold. Wait a minute, where have I heard this before? Frank my Pastor says this alot and how true it is.

Well guys, I have to tell you that I work long hours, and don’t have much time to write.

Hope you all take care and I’ll talk to you soon.
Semper Fi,
Taco

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Camp CupCake Afghanistan

April 28th, 2008 Posted in The SandGram v1.0 | 20 Comments »

old Russian tank
Dear Gang,
What is it like going into Afghanistan? Well, I remember landing under sniper fire, there was suppose to be some kind of a greeting ceremony at the airport, but instead we just ran with our heads down to get into the vehicles to get to our base. OK, that’s not really how my trip on the C-17 went, that experience belongs to the imagination of someone else running for national office. My trip into “Camp Cupcake” was more routine and very relaxed.

Afghanistan reminds me of Denver, the snow capped mountains in the background along with the high altitude of over five thousand feet. It gets a bit hot in the afternoon with blowing dust but the evenings are really nice at Bagram around 4pm. There has been a little bit of action the past couple of days and they delayed my trip to my next base, but I don’t mind, I can catch up on some needed sleep and rest up for the deep end that I’m about to jump into.

Well, what is it like here at Camp Cupcake? This base cracks me up, not to make fun of my Army and Air Force brothers but what is it about wearing PT gear 24/7? They show up to chow in it, shop at the PX in it and it is the goofiest thing to see a guy with a pistol strapped to his leg in his little blue workout shorts. It must also drive our Muslim brothers crazy as they see these gals walking around half naked in their eyes.

The base requires that they wear a reflective “Disco belt” at all times, some do, some don’t. I guess to keep from getting hit at night by a car which makes sense, but during the day too? I mean, who ever went out of their way to run someone down with a vehicle? Since that is not part of the Marine Uniform, we don’t comply, hell we only wear PT gear to workout in and our uniforms the rest of the time. They have to wear the belt at the gym to ensure that a Humvee won’t run over the hard chargers on the cross trainer.
Daytime Disco Belts

We really have gone to war here and garrison has broken out after five years. The other crazy thing here is saluting. Boy it’s tough just walking down street because both branches salute Officer’s whether they are wearing PT gear or a uniform. I’m not so worried about getting blown up here; it’s coming back with a broken chicken wing from all the saluting. I switched over to my brown “Onezy” as the Corporal in this office calls my flight suit, and then I can walk around incognito. See, the Navy and Air Force wear their rank on their shoulders and Marines don’t. The Army has it on their caps and right on their chest, so confusing for these guys. They can’t see my rank on my name patch until they are right on top of me and then they don’t know what to do and some snap a salute while the others are walking away scratching their head “Was that an Officer? Were we supposed to salute him?”
PT gear

They have everything here at this base, I mean I went for a haircut in the PX square and they have a spa/saloon. You have to make an appointment for a massage, or to get your nails done, about a day out. I was thinking about a pedicure but not sure if the gals can handle my nasty toes. When I finally got into the chair, she asked me if I wanted my hair shampooed. “What?” my head looks like a boot camp rookie with just some hair on the front and she wants to shampoo what? My stubble? You can also eat Burger King, DQ and Green Bean coffee. I know why all the gunfighters come back here for R and R since there is a ton of stuff and the safety of a big base.

Now they still have tons of land mines left over from the old Russians days, so you don’t go wondering off to look at the cool old Russian junk out in the field. This is the second most heavily mined country in the world they tell me, so stay on the road. We did find some old hulks pulled inside the wire. I have to say that this wouldn’t be a bad place to be stationed for a year as long as I don’t have to wear that disco belt day and night. Hope you all are doing well and talk to you soon.
Semper Fi,
Taco

Free Agent

April 21st, 2008 Posted in Military | 22 Comments »

So, you want to volunteer to go to war huh? Crazy as that sounds, there are a lot of us out there who do this little trip over to the war and let me tell you something, that is why the Muslim insurgents will never defeat us. See, there are tons of former military guys who for many reasons decide to join back up for this fight.

Are you one of them? Well, let me fill you in on how to do this and what happens if you are a Marine. First of all, being a reservist is akin to being a “Free Agent” in the NFL. You can pick and choose what assignment you would like to fill in either theater. Active duty guys really get the short end of the straw and when told to report somewhere, they have to grin and bear it while we are sent a list of available billets to choose from. Making you the boss of your own destiny is sort of fun in a weird way. When I volunteered for Iraq, I was looking over the list of jobs (maybe fifty positions there) and I knew what some of them did, but there were others that made me say HHHMMMMmmmm? I was on the phone with the reserve manpower officer one day, “O.k., what is a Battle Captain?” He paused and said he didn’t know. Well that sounded cool, “Put that on my short list” followed by “What is the Air Boss job?” He hazarded a guess that they bossed planes around. This guy wasn’t much help. I knew what the Air Boss on the ship did, but how did that work in Iraq? I liked that title so I told him that I wanted that job. Turned out to be a busy job with lots of stuff to do and I found out it had little to do with bossing planes around except for the Russian contract planes that tried to cheat us out of gas and I could tell them a thing or two.

Three years ago, joining up for a tour was like that, you found a billet and then mobilized with a unit and off you went. Now that this war has been going for over five plus years, the Corps has found a way to make it a partial “red ass” (remember when you got spanked by your Dad’s big leather disco belt and it hurt to sit, well same thing) to serve. At least that is what I thought when I first showed up 31 March for my pre-deployment training in Camp LeJeune, North Carolina. They have a program put together that includes some really good training, and some that I could just do without the pain. Because of the rollover deaths in the Humvee’s, they have built a trainer that spins around in circles to simulate your up armored Humvee taking a sharp turn or being blown up by an IED. Imagine a full size Humvee with the 240 lbs combat doors attached. They turn it on and spin it around and around. Kind of like being stuck in a couple of cycles of your clothes dryer. The dust and junk inside are floating in the air as you try to maintain a grip on your rubber M-16 or it will fly off and pop someone in the face. When it comes to rest, you practice egression out of one of the doors (they lock all the doors except one). Well, hanging upside down with your flack jacket and helmet on, and trying to get your seatbelt off is something that takes a bit of finesse or you will drop on your head. The Marines built this training up to be something that will make you sick. I loved it, a bit like the Helo dunker in our pool training only without the chlorine nasal injector as the pool water is forced up your sinuses.

They basically run you through all the stages to make you a fully qualified Marine again–go to the gas chamber and suck up some CS gas; do the swim quall; get all of your shots which hurt by the way, and they can give up to four shots a day including the dreaded smallpox shot. Remember that nice round scar you had on your left arm as a kid? Well, you get to walk around with this festering mess on your arm for about two weeks or so. Let’s not forget the shooting part of it. This made me laugh a bit. See, the weapon I carry is the M9 9mm pistol, unless I am in a billet that calls for the mighty M-4 5.56 rifle. But as an O-5, you have to shoot everything again. I haven’t shot the rifle in 14 years and just remember it being a pain-in-the-ass long drawn out week. First, we went to shoot the pistol. I like shooting guns and the pistol is my favorite, so getting Expert was a piece of cake. Plus, since they run a short course on that, three relays in a day, if you don’t like your score, you didn’t have to take it, but you do have to qualify on it–nothing like zero pressure on the qualification relay. Then the following week starts the pain. You show up each morning at 0445, drive a half hour over to Stone Bay to pick up your rifle and then sit around till 0630 when the sun starts to peek over the pine trees. Since we had three Marines in our group, we took the first relay each day, and no pulling of the “Butt’s” (that is what they call the area with the targets) in the afternoon. See, they have to send Marines down in the pits to pull the targets up and down to mark the bullet holes.
You start off at the two hundred-yard line, firing five rounds from the sitting, then from the kneeling and then from the standing position in a time limit of 20 minutes. Sounds easy till the wind starts blowing you back and forth just as you apply pressure on the trigger for that perfect bulls-eye. This is followed by a rapid-fire session of ten rounds- Moving back to three hundred-yard line, you shoot five rounds sitting and then in the prone position at a target that is about eight inches in diameter. To top off your training, you then move back to the five hundred-yard line and shoot ten rounds at a man-sized target. This goes on till about noon and then they switch places. We lucked out, for the weather was a bit chilly in the a.m., 40F but it warmed up nicely in the afternoon to about sixty or so. No rain, thank God. This goes on till you qualify on Wednesday. I told all my guys that they would be experts and six out of seven made it and the one Marine missed it by two points.

It’s one thing to be an Expert shooting at a still target, and quite another shooting at a moving one. So the Corps came up with the Table II shooting course where you shoot lots of bullets in various positions at a moving target. Now at a hundred yards, you don’t have to lead the target as much, so point of aim is still pretty much point of impact. What gives me a chuckle is how they do it. If it was the Army, they would spend hundreds of millions of dollars designing a super duper automated system. What system did the Corps buy? A two-dollar wooden pole that they staple a man-sized target to, and then have LCpl Jones pop this thing up into the air above the berm that protects him from getting shot as he walks along the ramp bobbing this thing up and down at a fast clip. Bullets are flying over his head zapping the target. Who ever came up with this simple solution was actually using his head!
This training is slated for twenty-one days and it is something all reservists have to go through. I will tell you that we had the finest coaches on hand, and that was proven when an old LtCol managed a 232 on the rifle after not shooting the M16A2 in 14 years… so if we get into a fire fight, I’m feeling pretty good that I can take a couple of the bad guys out. Just remember that all Marines are riflemen and our motto is “one shot, one kill.”

\"On the Range\"
Trigger, trigger, fire!!I’m going to be shipping over very soon and will be out of contact for a few weeks till I get set up. I’d like to thank all of you who have written me letters of support, and apologize ahead of time if I don’t respond back right away. Thanks again and hope this gives you a bit of insight into how they prepare us to fight. By the way, if you are retired and want to come back for some reason, call the separations branch and if you still in the five year window from retirement, then it’s pretty easy for you to come back and play with the boys again. The world’s best shooting club wants you to hang out again!!
S/F
Taco

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The New SandGram…

April 8th, 2008 Posted in Site News | 28 Comments »

Dear Gang,
If you are reading this, then you found out I have moved. This was a goal I had six months ago and spurred on by my Uncle Bruce who helped me get the domain name for the Sandgram. We started to use MS Frontpage, but that is more for websites and not blogging so I was a bit at a loss on converting over from Blogspot.
After having dinner with Marcus from A Soldier’s Perspective, he volunteered to take on the task of converting me to WordPress. Let me tell you something, I’m like a fourth grader when it comes to playing with the programs needed to accomplish this task, but he made it look easy. His fingers were gliding over the keys, mouse clicking, dragging stuff, and putting it here and there at Hyper sonic speeds. I owe him more the 12 pack of beer I bought for the night’s work and owe his awesome wife a big debt of thanks for letting me borrow him for six hours of playing on the computer. So Marcus, if you are reading this, you are my new hero!!!
Guys, welcome to my new site, it’s going to be a bit rough at first, but I’m looking forward to some fun entries over the next couple of months as I head over to Afghanistan. I will be filling you in on how to apply for a job over in the war and what it takes to mobilize. Until then, take care and talk to you soon.
Semper Fi,
Taco

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Change in Orders

March 30th, 2008 Posted in The SandGram v1.0 | 1 Comment »

Hey Guys,

I have started my journey to Camp Lejeune NC where I’ll start the three weeks of training to prepare for my deployment. I have to say that the tide of the war has surely been changed forever!

Since I will be stationed with the State department, they offered me a chance to participate in a new program. If I extend my orders to 18 months, then I can take my family over with me. T and I discussed this as we were doing our Yoga this morning, and have decided to accept these new and exciting orders. We figured it would be a great educational experience for the children to say that they lived in Afghanistan.

Our soon-to-be five-year-old was very excited over the news and will be measured for her first Burka Monday at Burka’s R-US in Dallas next to the Islamic world-wide education center.

The children will attend a local school near the base where T has applied to be a teacher. We’re not clear if she will be able to drive or not so the taxi service might be our newest best friend.

Afghanistan will be an incredible assignment and anyone interested in visiting will always have a place to stay in our new Former Taliban palace. All I can say is that the Tea will always be on, and there will be fresh Lamb chops for dinner. I’d like to thank T for her tremendous support in this decision!!

Look forward to hearing from you all soon and an early Happy April’s Fool Day too!

Semper Fi,
Taco

PS
For those who think I’m serious, this is a joke!!!

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Reporting for Duty

March 28th, 2008 Posted in The SandGram v1.0 | No Comments »

The countdown begins till I deploy…
S/F
Taco

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